Dr Jekyll

C07AB553-2F52-4333-9A33-9A610B21AFF9So it’s been 5 long years since I’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer.  It has been a very long and painful process. SO if any of you have read my previous posts, you know the long story about my first breast surgeon and that he is an asshole of all assholes.  The butcher is what I refer to him as.  Today I have actually taken the initiative to fill out paperwork in order to file a complaint against him for not sending me for an MRI when he was told by the Dr who performed my biopsy that it was his recommendation.  He was a cocky bastard and just waved his hand when I asked him about the other breast.  He said the other breast was fine.  Fine?!!! How the fuck did he know my left breast was fine for sure?  Was he G-D and knew something I didn’t?  he was arrogant and also didn’t seem to think I had a BRCA mutation.  Again, was this man psychic perhaps or did he know something I didn’t ?  You ask yourself why file now after five years?  Why not? Why not file a complaint against a Dr who doesn’t send patients for an MRI, doesn’t believe in a mastectomies unless you have contralateral breast cancer and does biopsies without anesthesia. 

Not listening to him actually saved my life.  I turned out to be BRCA2 positive.  Luckily my left breast came back ok at the pathology report after I finally had my mastectomy.  Imagine if I would have never went to get genetically tested? The test saved my life and put me on a totally different path then I was planning.  Well that’s life and it throws you for some shitty surprises.  That’s when we have to put our very big girl panties on and march forward.

My best advice to anyone who is unfortunate enough to end up in my shoes, Do not let anyone tell you that you’re crazy or make you feel so if you think something is wrong.  Go to a second and third and even fourth opinion if it will land you with the right Dr who will listen to you and who will advocate for you. When something doesn’t feel right, it’s because it probably isn’t.  After all, you are your own best advocate. 6279F16F-F34A-4697-99CA-DB00107B4A34

Grace under fire

F90AD83C-D7A1-475A-A956-3E51690EBDB4So today I was surprised by the amazing Charise Isis.  Let’s go back a bit in time.  Last year in June, I attended a conference that had a mastectomy shoot which was being held in the same hotel room by this amazing woman who has her own non profit called http://www.the-grace-project.org She photographs breast cancer warriors and women who have had preventative surgeries to reduce their risks of developing breast cancer.  I like to call them Mutantvivors.  I came up with the word myself, thank you very much.  

After my cancer diagnosis, I have had my ups and my downs.  Even with the downs, I always try to keep a positive attitude about things and even put the shitty shit into perspective.  I always say, it could always be worse.  So on my quest to learn some new information about things in the BRCA community, I decided that I should go and check this thing out.  Charise’s hotel room was filled with fabrics and her equipment.  She proceeded to tell me how she got involved in doing this project. The story she told was amazing and very touching.  Someone close to her was affected by breast cancer and she absolutely knew right then, that this is what she was meant to do.  

Charise asked me if I wouldn’t mind if she photographed me outside. I told her no problem.  It was warm that day.  Not as warm as I had hoped it would be in Florida. We had to be discreet since there were cars that would pass from time to time. I’m sure that at least one car got a free show jk lol.  Actually she was really discreet and really good at what she does.  I felt really comfortable being photographed by her.  When else am I going to have a topless goddess photo shoot that empowers women affected by cacner?  It was a beautiful and empowering experience.  I felts good in my own skin, even with scars and all.  It’s so important to know that we are still powerful sexual beings with scars and all.